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Dec. 9th, 2012 10:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ironicusernameTo reward myself on finals well done I think I am gonna write some more essays.
Question meme for Yuri Lowell and Dirk Strider
I also play Dave Strider at Decollage and Thusia if anyone wants to ask about him!
Question meme for Yuri Lowell and Dirk Strider
I also play Dave Strider at Decollage and Thusia if anyone wants to ask about him!
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on 2012-12-10 04:03 am (UTC)Okay, explain to me what the headless Dirk bit is about. I saw that and I got confused.
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on 2012-12-10 05:33 am (UTC)no subject
on 2012-12-10 05:37 am (UTC)no subject
on 2012-12-10 05:45 am (UTC)Dirk used a transportalizer to cut off his own head and send it to the past so Jake cuold revive him there by kissing him (because that's how revival works in HS).
Where is Vincent right now emotionally?
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on 2012-12-10 05:51 am (UTC)He DOES think it's stupid he's not taking his memories, though. The incident with Hiccup jumping him convinced him that if Hiccup is healthy enough to be tackling dudes then he can take some tough love. If you want to be sad over your memories for a couple days fine, but after that you need to suck it up and face your past. That's his stance, anyway. He has noticed that Hiccup likes to avoid shit so he will probably just constantly shove it in his face 'til he does what he wants. Till Hiccup gets settled, Dirk is trying not to take anything Hiccup says personal, though it stings when he says that Dirk doesn't care and stuff like that.
REVERSE. Did the yelling help, general impression of Dirk, etc.
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on 2012-12-10 06:02 am (UTC)He's on a tight wire of emotions and isn't doing well in his mind with many of his relationships. Unfortunately, he's also at an impasse with them all until he can sort himself out. Anyway, Vincent is hurt by Gilbert in a thousand controllable and uncontrollable ways. He has gone through more, suffered more, and Vincent can't seem to even piece together his own life in any meaningful way. He's sort of this shell of a person who can have everything he's built up swept away by Gilbert saying something carelessly. That last part really upsets Vincent, because the reason he wanted Yuri to agree to his terms was so that he could counteract Gil's "control" over him by picking someone over him. On the flipside, Vincent really feels awful that Yuri is involved. It is his choice, so he won't contest that point, but Vincent would like to give Yuri many nice things that aren't episode after episode between him and his brother. Hilariously, that one thread post-Gilbert cutting his hand off mostly ended with Vincent being stupidly, though quietly, dere and adoring to Yuri. (Unless you would like disagree?!) But mostly the line of though was: I am mad at my brother, but I love you and I would rather love you than let his insanity mess with us, etc. And Obsidian is difficult, because Yuri and Gilbert both are above him which isn't a nice feeling . . . Even if he doesn't know that Yuri now has a higher authority with Vincent . . .
Mostly, he's just exhausted emotionally. He would rather roll over and dead-eye everything than truly engage it, because he went from thinking he was capable of anything after getting Yuri to take responsibility for his life . . . To being completely useless and ultimately the main cause of everything wrong in his and everyone else's life . . . Again.
Where's Yuri at? Back at you basicallyyy.
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on 2012-12-10 06:39 am (UTC)Admittedly, the tackle would have probably happened either way, but the venomous statements were very much because Rider is in a bad place. He wanted to hurt Dirk because being nice didn't work. He said the worst thing he could think of because he was just that mad and since sincere pleas didn't work, he lashed out. There was a major release of bitter anger in the memory and Rider is kind of feeling that still.
Which is why he hasn't apologized yet. He feels bad and he knows he SHOULD, but because he feels bitter at everything and also kind of wants to make things worse for himself, he doesn't feel he can. And he can't apologize insincerely. It's just a lot of negative feelings he doesn't honestly know how to deal with. Self doubt and hate he knows! Being angry and bitters at others is not, especially when it's misdirected bitter and anger.
There's also a part of him that's kind of afraid of Dirk. The idea of someone being okay with actually breaking a part of someone, even if it's supposed to be positive, terrifies him. It's one thing to try and change people, but doing that just seems to say to him 'I do not like this part of you, it should not exist' and to not give someone that choice to get rid of it just rubs him the wrong way all over.
Before all this he did rather like Dirk. In a casual way. He was smart and he knew cool things that Rider liked! But they never had a real personal connection? Partially because Rider has no idea what to make of him, really. He seemed rational and level headed, but kind of quiet a lot. He liked him well enough, but not enough to make it easier to overcome all the negative that got directed at Dirk because of bad timing and pings.
And because Rider doesn't think he deserves nice things right now, he doesn't think he should even try to fix it. Thus, yes, he's running away, so really, Dirk should keep shoving things in his face until he stops being dumb. Because he will continue to be dumb on his own.
Due to the negative stuff, the yelling didn't really help. Not yet, at any rate. It might ninja at him from the back of his mind, but Rider kind of already knew he was running away. People have told him to face his past, to move on from it, and he knows he should. It's just hard to do it and he knows he's being a coward. Dirk just didn't really say anything new. And he didn't do it in a way that was more affective than what others said.
What DID Dirk think of him because Rider's emotions exploded?
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on 2012-12-10 09:07 am (UTC)no subject
on 2012-12-10 02:02 pm (UTC)Reverse!
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on 2012-12-10 02:13 pm (UTC)He has definitely chosen Apollo as sort of his go-to guy for talking about things, and he does sort of feel bad about that. Apollo is someone he would like to protect from all bad things all the time, but Dirk has enough self-awareness to know that if he tries to handle all the emotional stuff in his life he will end up going crazy and probably hurting someone he loves in the process. So his talks with Apollo are kind of important self-maintenance, which he views kind of selfishly. But Apollo really does always say the right thing to him in terms of making him feel better; even after the heart game Dirk was reeling form sort of a huge blow with Hiccup telling him he was toxic so it was a HUGE deal when Apollo said he trusted him. He really needed to hear that. All in all Dirk gets the impression that Apollo cares a whole fuckin' lot which to Dirk is a really awesome thing to be able to express. He wants to make Apollo happy and to make him laugh cause Apollo deserve sit :x
Reverse.
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on 2012-12-10 03:33 pm (UTC)If he talks him again tho he will legit probably punch him in the face.
Does Rider have any other signegs waiting in the wings?
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on 2012-12-10 06:08 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2012-12-10 06:19 pm (UTC)Kay
Kinda an intense pick up line to use on a dude.
But he will prolly believe her once he meets his brothers and be intensely awkward and bravadoish cause what if I'm not as cool as she remembers oh god gotta conform to her expectations.
Rose what are your feels on daddy Dirk hookin' you up.
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on 2012-12-10 08:07 pm (UTC)Apollo does worry that Dirk overcomplicates things for himself and takes on too much, but he also trusts him to know what he can handle, so it's not that he thinks Dirk should scale back as much as it's just... constant background concern and fretting on the matter. He's very worried about the thing with Rider right now, but mainly he's concerned about Rider being a basket-case; he can understand the freak-out over breaking stuff, but he has no idea where Rider's getting the idea that Dirk doesn't care, because it's just so evident to him that Dirk does. He doesn't express emotively, but his words and actions consistently point to the fact that he cares very much.
On top of this deep-level faith and familial loyalty, Apollo just likes Dirk. He likes his deadpan humor, he likes his elaborate metaphors, he likes his intelligence and that he's into stuff like robotics, and he likes his confidence. He doesn't always feel like he 100% gets where Dirk is coming from, but Apollo isn't actually someone who worries overly about needing to have a deep understanding of the people he cares about. Mostly he loves like a puppy; you're here and you're so great, you're just so great, it doesn't matter what you do, let me just get my dere all over you!! Apollo likes a lot of people in Aather, but Dirk is one of those people who makes him think, "I'm lucky to be who I am, where I am, when I am, because being me, here and now, means that I got to meet you."
SotU for Dirk?
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on 2012-12-10 10:23 pm (UTC)As for other memories, oooooh yes. Hiccup's life is not a pleasant one for the most part, even if it's not 'village was set on fire, killing everyone, and everything ever is always terrible' level. Mostly just the constant rejection by everyone he ever knew. There's still some terrible left over from the movie and then there's Riders of Berk, with his and Toothless near deaths, Mildew's existence, Alvin trying to kidnap him for warfare, plus there's still a season and a half to go and possible two sequels depending on how Hiccup ages. So plenty of negatives with significant impact.
But there's nothing likely to be AS BAD as this one. Most other times, there is some sliver of hope that should be easy to pick up on. Either because Rider will know he survives because leg or because there's usually some obvious support during Riders of Berk. So nothing will crush him quite as thoroughly. The worst at moment is the memory where he realizes HE'S the one who disabled Toothless, but that's more 'I'm the most terrible friend EVER' instead of crushing all his hopes and dreams.
Any memories you're excited for Dirk to get?
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on 2012-12-11 05:27 am (UTC)Right now Dirk is in a really self-reflective place. Hiccup's comment about him being toxic following so close on the heels of him nearly fucking up everything ever with Jake really hit him hard, and are making him question the validity of is own machinations. This is not... a totally world-shattering thing; it mostly means that Dirk will be THAT much more careful and thoughtful about his actions. But he is looking at his memories and questioning whether maybe he wasn't too manipulative and bull-headed. He is taking Apollo's advice about being straight-forward to heart! As much as he can, anyway. The puppet master gig is kind of second nature to him; it's how he sees the world. And Dirk is perfectly capable of being straight-froward and manipulative at the same time.
AT THE SAME TIME he has all this introspection going on he is also trying to be really focused on Jake and Jason, 'cause he is aware these first couple weeks of his relationship with both of them are going to be critical in establishing the rest of it. And he wants to make them both happy so badly. This is also a pretty natural mode for him to be in; this is a dude he spent basically his whole life protecting and caring for his friends. CAN'T STOP WON'T STOP.
All this leads to Dirk being... okay. He still has a lot of anxiety over Jake and Jason, but that is mostly because he really doesn't know how to act in a relationship--or, more importantly, how to keep Jake interested and Jason happy. HE IS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP WITH JAKE knowing Jake doesn't feel quite as strongly as him, and that hurts, but in a negligible sort of way, because Jake is still his best bro and would never intentionally hurt him, and Dirk knows that. He is also hella anxious over events back home, and frankly, none of his memories are going to make him feel better about it. But as he becomes more aware of how isolated he was back home he becomes more eager to cultivate good relationships with people like Apollo and Cass and Naha, etc, and he does really enjoy getting to put his mind to work figuring out how to make them happy. Dirk has a lot of things to occupy his mind and time, and not all of them are good things, but Dirk is pretty happy as long as he has shit to do.
tl;dr 6/10 can't complain.
Your favorite changes in Apollo's heart!
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on 2012-12-11 05:35 am (UTC)Hiccup's feelings on Heliodor? In general or specifically, take your pick.
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on 2012-12-11 02:28 pm (UTC)Ask another question in the meantime.
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on 2012-12-11 04:21 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2012-12-11 04:33 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2012-12-11 07:22 pm (UTC)UHM embarrassed and thoroughly interested in if he actually finds someone, though she would never admit it. She's not used to her private life being pasted all over the metaphorical walls so she kind of wants to crawl under the rug and never come out.
What will Dirk think about Dave when he gets back?
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on 2012-12-12 09:46 am (UTC)Any specific plans in the works for either of your characters?
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on 2012-12-12 04:00 pm (UTC)He's trying to get himself to accept it fully, though. It's part of why he's taken up doing what Marine and other toppy girls would do and is just saying 'Heliodor is here, we love you, and we think you're important' because he doesn't want that feeling to go away. And he does believe that applies to all of Heliodor, just...not...him. He knows it's crazy, he even admitted it to Apollo, it's just hard to overcome.
Even though Heliodor has shifted, the people are still kinder than what is his default norm. They're awkward, they don't know how to talk, they don't have energy, but they also don't completely reject people and they do show signs that they care for the most part. (Part of Rider's problem with Dirk is he hasn't been able to see Dirk caring, since Dirk usually steps back when others do what he wants. He's seen FRIENDLY, but that's not the same as CARING) He's kind of terrified that they might break though because so many of them seem more delicate than older Heliodor's.
But overall, he just...he loves them. He loves them so much. Like if given a choice between living with Berk or Heliodor, he would choose Heliodor if he absolutely had to choose. (Unless Toothless is with Berk, in which case Toothless trumps everyone forever.) He just doesn't know how to deal with all these feels and now he's worried he'll break them and is just very much 'what do' most of the time right now.
For personal connections, Apollo is top person, no question. He even tops Tsuruume, even though she was actually top person before she was dropped. Apollo just gets dad feels at Rider and it's one of those things Rider has always wanted since his and Stoick's relationship is kind of super broken. It makes him awkward, but it makes him happy. Apollo has also been super supportive, even when Rider does some really, really dumb stuff. Apollo helped him through his White Mage quest, which he ultimately needed because those were terrible memories. Apollo is literally the only person who has only been kind to Rider that Rider fully believes he cares without doubt. And as I mentioned before, Apollo is getting close to Toothless levels of dere and dependency. Toothless still trumps! But just barely.
As for people who aren't always nice, it's actually Jason that's Rider's second favorite person. Rider can't trust all nice! He can't have nice things! So when people are mean, it's easier for him to trust them. And Jason is kind of a jerk and hostile, but Rider feels like he knows more or less where he stands with Jason. He feels like he can trust Jason, though that did take a blow with that game. He wants to support Jason, but he also doesn't think total support really helps people? Rider does dumb things, but he knows they're dumb, and he tries to consider the affects of it later when people call him out on it. He worries about Jason a lot, but he also really likes him.
Already talked about Dirk.
He needs to thread more with Sora, but overall he likes Sora? Sora is pretty straight forward and cares and Sora was also the one who saw him with Toothless monster. He really appreciated the support, but Sora has that 'he's too nice' thing so Rider just subconsciously waits for the other shoe to drop. But Sora has the old Heliodor energy which Rider adores.
He worries about Sion and Serin. He knows they're not connecting well, but he's not sure how, or if he CAN, help them feel better. They're nice people, not so good with feelings, and he wants to help. Just more what do.
For older Heliodors, he did love them so. He didn't get much time with Jet or Sherlock, but they were nice girls. Liked them well enough. Zimmy was cool and they were being newbies and she had some grump. She was interesting and he liked talking with her. Heart was a giant dinosaur...and he was a giant reptile. He just loved reptiles. And he could maybe make stuff for him and there was talk of pack, and that was cool!
Marine was really supportive, but also fulfilled that 'girl who punches me' role that was making him relax more around her. All that energy and she's the one who taught him that sometimes you just need to hug people when they're sad.
TK was his amputee buddy who he could learn about science things from! Also that energy. He always felt he could kind of get TK when it came to more moral things? Also bad decision trains. Mostly he hit what's shounen in Rider.
And Tsuruume was his top person because she was tsundere, so he relaxed around her. He felt he could just talk to her after a certain point. If talking didn't work, she dragged him out for something more physical. She was grumpy, but she was also patient with him. She didn't back off, but she also managed to never truly corner him in a way that made him want to withdraw completely. Cornering him is always better than backing off though. Tsuruume just managed to hit the perfect amount to keep him always responsive. She had the Astrid mix. Which is why he had that break down when she left with Apollo.
What does Dirk think of Heliodor?
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on 2012-12-15 03:28 am (UTC)Seeker does like Dirk! Though to be honest he... really baffles her? She isn't sure how to take someone who says such ridiculous things with such a straight face. Is he being serious, or should I be laughing, or...?! She tends to default to smiling because at least that's a halfway point, or just. Being really confused. Boy half of what you say makes no goddamn sense.
Though yeah she doesn't really feel close to him, and being at odds with like a quarter of Heliodor isn't helping. SHE WANTED TO BE UPSET WITH HIM AFTER THE PANDORA GAME but then he was himself at her and she couldn't do it :(
Does Dirk have any significant CR off-team?