Question meme

[ironicusername]

Question meme since Dirk is almost at 1000 and it has absolutely been a month since the last one you don't need to fact check me on this.

Primarily for Dirk Strider/Ruby Twinkle and Yuri Lowell.

And anyone else I play.

Oh right appearance update and some general info on mannerisms for Dirk.

Comments

[andcounting]

What are Dirk's first impressions of Ned?

[ironicusername]

PROBABLY THE FAVORITE TEAM MATE... Dirk was really not expecting to be understood or comforted about the situation with the game since it was so nuanced so Ned sort of slipped under his guard there and he was really grateful for it, because he did kind of feel like shit. He was really flattered and, what's a word here, maybe pleased??? That Ned took the time and attention to find out what was going on and to talk through it with him. And he did it in such a soothing way! It was nice.

Now, with the recent Heliodor feelingsjam--he was not aware Ned had that capacity for RAW FEELINGS because he had struck him as so calm. It was... interesting, and weirdly affecting. Like he told Jason, he himself probably couldn't break down like that. Not out of bravado, or disdain--he definitely doesn't see it as weak--but simply as an issue of not being wired like that. But it seems like it would be kind of nice to have that kind of mass cathartic release instead of just constantly adding things to his to do list (Everyone ever dead back home? Bro in the book? People being snagged by Darkness? All things Dirk Strider has resolved to fix). So, the total breakdown really did nothing but strengthen Dirk's opinion of Ned as a really good guy, emotionally competent and rational dude who he can trust.

And let's face it Ned, none of your traits are lessened by the fact that you are a smoking hot older dude.

Reverse?

[andcounting]

Ned has a really positive impression of Dirk so far! In the discussion about the game, he came across as thoughtful, willing to try to reexamine his views, and generally interested in making sure everyone got fair treatment, all of which Ned really respects.

Dirk's lack of affect and generally stand-offish body language don't bother Ned; he has strong memories of being extremely wary about touch and also deliberately closed off himself, and just kind of assumes the kid has his reasons. He also doesn't equate lack of affect with lack of emotion! So with Dirk he just tries really hard to pay attention to his actual words, more than expression or body language, which meant when Dirk mentioned that he was taken aback and hurt by the way the game went, Ned immediately took that at face value. And then wanted to help because Heliodor has turned him into some kind of emotionally open dad figure, I don't even know.

As for the Heliodor feelingsjam, Ned was really touched that Dirk would come over and give him water and pat his shoulder, especially after the previous evidence of being not necessarily cool with physical contact! Also just because Ned's the adult here, in his own mind, and he really wants to be emotionally competent and rational and reliable, and doesn't necessarily think he succeeds at all.

In that situation, Ned really needed comfort and didn't feel like it was at all appropriate for him to ask for it or break down in the way that he did -- he's not ashamed of his feelings or about displaying them, but he also doesn't think he should burden his kids with them -- but he got it, and the fact that Dirk would make any attempt there at all was a big deal to him.

Also if Dirk ever calls him hot to his face, he will probably die the death. YOU ARE ON HELIODOR AND UNDER 21, YOU ARE ONE OF MY KIDS. (Not in a parental way necessarily, but still.)

How does Dirk feel about Heliodor in general?

[ironicusername]

Dirk's team feelings were very closely linked to his mindset when he entered Aather. He essentially hit the ground running, already had 99 problems taking up all his burners so with the whole team thing it was kind of, Thanks, but no thanks. On top of that he found out pretty quickly that he wasn't a huge fan of being around a ton of people so he essentially fucked off for the first couple of days.

The first game he had with them, despite ending in a clusterfuck, actually started off pretty positively! Obviously Rider and Jason knew how to hustle but they also listening to him. And then AFTERWARD Rider impressed him with how on top of his shit he as, so he was starting to be like--well, ok, maybe U can work with this. During these first couple of days Dirk was also very inward-focused! He had a lot of shit to sort out so he didn't really pay attention to his teammates as people but after the game he started to, and with the latest team post he is in full-flung outward focus mode and there is the beginning seedling not just these are people with distinct emotional needs, but HIS people and his responsibility to take care of.

As a general statement on Heliodor he recognizes they are in flux right now but he thinks they have a pretty strong chance of pulling through and being a cohesive, supportive unit.

So I take it Apollo is not very good with death. What does he think about Aather death/trauma? Do you think he'll 'get used to it' over time?

[andcounting]

Apollo's take on death is... interesting... I wouldn't actually say he's not very good with death, rather that he is extremely comfortable with certain aspects of death, but terrible with loss, and equally terrible with his loved ones being in pain. On the other hand, he has no trouble with corpses or gore, regardless of the level, provided he doesn't have a personal attachment to the people who have been killed.

Ned has the ability to return a dead thing to life with a touch. A second touch results in death again, this time permanent -- and if he doesn't perform that second touch within 60 seconds of the first, something else has to die. (It's an equivalent exchange based on random proximity -- a person for a person, a flower for a strawberry, a pigeon for a squirrel, taken out of whatever/whoever is in range.) Apollo has not yet regained this ability in Aather! (In fact, it is locked while I figure out what to do with it.) He does remember using it, though, and that's where his ability to be casual about the physical aspect of death comes from.

As to Aather death/trauma, he hates it. He will always hate it, because it falls under the category of "loved ones being in pain," which he just... has no idea how to handle. He wants to stop it, or help, and he can't, always. Sometimes he can't even be there. Really, the only thing that could make it worse for him would be if he was the one causing that pain. He can hold it together when it happens, sort of, at least in front of whoever got hurt, but really he can only cope with it by either doing something comforting or shutting down, and he hasn't really worked out how to shut down in Aather, although it's his main coping method in canon.

Maybe at some point in Aather he will "get used to it" in terms of learning how to shut down rather than run around frantically, but I think that Heliodor probably won't let him start shutting down in general, which makes this an unlikely outcome.

Have you had any developments yet with Dirk that have surprised you?

[ironicusername]

HMMM. Not personality development, exactly. I am not expecting Dirk to deviate personality-wise much from canon because a lot of the HS kids have a VERY STRONG internal core of who they are, and this goes double for Dirk. He is and always will be super reflective, so he's the polar opposite of Yuri who tends to repress and dissemble to himself; Dirk pretty much always has a handle on his shit.

His relationships with other people have been pretty surprising, however, especially with Heliodor. He very quickly learned that it could be ok to delegate things. Dirk is used to being in complete control of his circumstances. He refers to himself as the 'puppetmaster' and takes personal responsibility for making sure events happen when and how they're supposed to. He is super on top of his shit. All of the time. And it's not that he DOESN'T trust other people because he does, but he's had a very strange life that has given him purpose which drives 95% of his actions and he is just used to constantly being in Getting Shit Done mode. So the ease with which he has been able to say to himself, "I don't have to worry about this about x member of Heliodor has got this" has been fairly surprising.

Tell me about Apollo being an emotionally open dad figure.