Memory 1.5 Alaska and Ruby: The Bro Saga (Jake's memory)

[ironicusername]

Alaska and Ruby: The Bro Sag
[Jake's memory, Day 183]
TT: Oh, fuck. Is it a pony? Tell me it's a pony, Jake.
Original thread | Aviy's writeup

Lemme just quote Aviy's:

This memory is adapted from a thread Lei and I had in a meme. Instead of taking place on their planets (That we don't know anything about), it was made to take place when they are 14 or so, and the conversation all happens online.

Summary: This is a great memory! It's basically just having dumb fun with his best friend at like 3 am cuz why not. Jake wakes up in the middle of the night after falling asleep watching movies on his skulltop, and finds Dirk still online. He chides Dirk to sleep more often and Dirk sidetracks him by demanding a bed time story. Jake is UP FOR THE CHALLENGE!! and launches into a story about an awesome adventurer and his flash-stepping ass-kicking pony. Dirk respectively names them Alaska Johnson and Ruby Twinkle. Alaska and Ruby hijack a pirate ship and sail it to an island composed ENTIRELY OF SKULLS!!! solve some puzzles, fight some monsters, probably unleash a terrible curse, and get some sweet loot. Then they sail off to their next adventure.

Stuff he learned: DIRK IS MY BEST BRO =D He would do anything for Dirk.
Except maybe be gay?? Dirk sometimes hits on him, and by sometimes we mean pretty frequently. Jake is aware of it and just sort of nervously laughs it off without putting any real thought into it. He knows Dirk very well so this memory has a pretty 'clear read', as in, Jake doesn't avoid it by telling himself DIRK ISN'T REALLY INTO HIM THAT WAY. He's. Fully aware. That Dirk really is. He just doesn't know how to deal with it so he simply doesn't, and it's by now very routine to just entirely skip it without a second through.
Dirk is also into pony porn? This is way less awkward than bro being gay for him...
HE LOVES SKULLS SO MUCH
also: adventure, puzzles, treasure. These are all things he loves.
Apparently he lives on an island =|a? He didn't actually see it but he did reference it. Also apparently monsters are a thing that happens in his life and he isn't very fond of it =|a?? Wonder why...
Alaska loves guns so he probably also likes guns...
skulltops are awesome, so is thinktyping, and green??

There's a bunch of other general stuff but MOSTLY it's just. DIRK IS BEST BRO. I WILL IGNORE HIS HOMOSEXUALITY SINCE I GUESS THAT IS WHAT I DO. SKULLS ARE THE BEST. Most other things he just sort of not fully realize until it comes up.


SO CONSEQUENTLY WHAT DIRK LEARNED:

Ponies are awesome

I have a crush on Jake.

I am sexually attracted to men and enjoy ponyporn (Male ponies only? needs investigations)

My weird sleeping habits maybe be normal... for me...?

Jake really likes skulls.

... JAKE...

NOT SURE WHETHER TO TEAR HAIR OUT OR FEEL BAD. JAKE.

Comments

[dramatispersonae]

Ruby Twinkle . . . Aww, you included Fuuma in your story.

[ironicusername]

NOW HE MUST MEET FUUMA....